Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
