the new term for farting is butt boxing.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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