awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
