Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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