Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
