yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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