Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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