my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
