Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
