all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
