No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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