You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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