mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
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theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
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i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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