I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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