Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
