That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
