She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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