Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
