You work out of a Hotel?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Semen is not good for contacts.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Randomize
