why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
