You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
