It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
