A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
