it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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