Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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