If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
