how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
