How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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