Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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