It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
