im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
