Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Randomize
