just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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