You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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