either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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