it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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