I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
