Christians are straight up FREAKS
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
