guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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