A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
