Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
