They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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