she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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