five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
