I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Still dying that you shit outside
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
