you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Life without a bra equals bliss.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
