dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
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