I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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