You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
