how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
