Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
