i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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