careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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