Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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