I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
