I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
