i would punch a child for taco bell
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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