similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
