he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
