God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
