yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
