He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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