Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
