Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
so let's talk penis.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
