If you die in college, do you die in real life?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
