At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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