Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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